reposted from my Americans for Safe Access forum thread.

Today is rough…

Hi again all,
I micro-blogged most of earlier today on twitter and my blog

http://blog.playerx.net/2009/09/14/

Nothing stupendous happened, but here is a quickie recap for board followers.
8am.
more BS.
9am.
more waiting, SCIF hiding receipts, billing, medical records, Utilization Review Reports, documentation, and my cases’ disability status.(plural)
more shutdown.
WCAB Judge Vincenti Blas again said he was going to deny the medical marijuana based on the report from the IME he chose. Not the QME panel decision I have been trying to complete since 2004. As well as deny me any future positive QME panel decision to afford me a medical marijuana reimbursement.
Judge told me, I would have to make a decision today about a settlement offer SCIF was not prepared to show, or be outright denied everything and have to deal with RECON, appeals and other courts.
10am
was forced to think about decisions I am unable to cope or deal with and told I would have to make my decisions before 11:30am today.
more waiting
11:45am SCIF Staff Counsel or attorney Abi A. Akinola, accused my father of insurance fraud in the WCAB Judges Chambers, who was just outside the chambers in the court room.
More BS. Judge told me, I would have to come back later in the day for the afternoon sessions, without my father’s support who had a return flight to AZ.
12:20 PM
The Judge after much pressing upon me and a sniffling crying, emotional breakdown, eventually realized I’m not competent to make any sort of decisions as I previously stated to him during the first session we had this morning.

Now, why the WCAB Judge who previously worked for SCIF does not see that SCIF is and has been messing with me and my life for the last 8 years is beyond me, and all will likely be decided by jury.

The status of my cases is currently off calendar again with the WCAB. I have no idea when I will be back in court. More unknown. More waiting around, desolate emotional sadness, depression, anxiety, stress, anger, apprehension about my life and how I must fight for and fit the bill for medications which provide relief from the injuries I sustained on the job.

Even if medical marijuana which provides me some relief, did not, I would still be fighting SCIF for a future medical care award for the therapies, treatments, medications, etc; that do work best for me; because SCIF would deny me relief just the same, hoping I would either die or go away. (Maybe even do both, since they’ve made it clear they would pay for starting back on the hydrocodone and opiate pain killers again which led to addiction, kidney stones and a plethora of stomach issues.)

On an even more personal note. I’ve been physically injured for 2972 days, and in emotional distress even longer. I have few friends. Without any real social fabric of fellow medical marijuana patients to easily befriend, I do not get out much and cannot drive more than 30 minutes through traffic in extreme pain. I feel shunned and extremely awkward around my friends who outright disapprove. So I am alone much of the time. I have very few social outlets, I’m not able to work or easily find work in my field of knowledge at a Medical Marijuana friendly business who is willing to employ someone uniquely in my position. I also feel like a prisoner without an ankle bracelet, trapped by the budget I set, and financial obligations I endure out of pocket for partial relief. “No one in America should go broke because they get sick.” – President Barack Obama

If you are feeling generous with your time today, this week, rest of the month, or year, I could really use all the friendly words of support and good kind spirits any of you have to offer. Even if it’s an email, simple private message, a phone call(see my website) or voicemail. “Hi”, “Hello”, “Good work”, “Keep it up”, “Keep on Keepin on”, “You’re not alone.”, “I have work for you”, “How are you today?”

Please don’t expect me to be all sunshine and flowers when responding to the last one, if at all.

Thanks again for reading
-r0b

“I’ll be back.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger the Governator of California

“So will I.” – Me